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don’t know why i keep setting myself up for disappointment and humiliation. how many chances can a person get and fuck up before you give up and stop trying? so bummed out. i need ice water and bong rips and cold squishy pillows. i am done :(

selling literally everything i can because i’m having to blow all my savings this month. don’t care though. i will do everything in my power to go to life is beautiful. 

hate how i’m either in the mood to sleep allll fucking day or i’m wired and can’t sleep for two days. 

i feel like i’ve mostly gotten through all the sad vibes of us separating. i don’t think it would be going so smoothly if i didn’t have chilled out visits from chila and nonstop conversation with daniel. they’re my rocks. chila understands how buried in misery i am and that i needed to check out and have time to myself to accept the changes in my life. and daniel is the motivation i need to dig myself out of this hole. he keeps a smile on my face and checks on me and reassures me that things are going to be okay. honestly can’t wait to save up and go spend a few days with him. i know it’ll be a ways out because i’m so financially drained lately. but i’ll keep it on my mind to work towards and it will keep me sane. we’ll have good times. and i know i won’t want to leave ahahaha.

august is among us, yall.

and it’s going to be the busiest month of the year for me. have close to 20 things to do on different days this month. going to be in overdrive. but i’m going to have a lot of fun.

have tons of administrative shit to take care of and lots of errands to run and lots of shopping to do. also need to sell some electronics.need to monitor LIB tickets that are for sale and swoop on a good deal if i find one.

i’m excited for chila’s August Birthday celebration. her birthday is actually in september but i’ve set up a nice celebration for the 15th with a few surprises. we’ll still do something on her actual birthday but august 15th will be a dope night out. 

the following weekend is the black and white party. can’t wait for round two of unlimited booze and good jams and fun times with some of my favourite humans. i will drink my body weight in booze and i will dance to overplayed pop songs and i will smoke weed as i stumble from bar to bar and have a blast with the best of humans. then i’ll most likely eat ten pounds of food from robertos and drink like seven gatorades and disappear for a few days.

bring it on, august!





i miss when i was like 12 and it would be the night before a big field trip or something and i couldnt go to sleep because i was so excited. i miss being so into a book that i would stay up past my bed time reading it. everything seems so bland or something idk. i’m only 19 and everything is so tiring. i miss wanting to be awake

this is the realist shit on this website

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